Life is weird, first you wanna grow up, then you just wanna be a kid again.
Sometimes I get sick of pretending everything is okay. Constantly reminding myself that things will get better soon. But i guess 'soon' just won't come. Maybe, just not yet. But i do thank god for everything. I appreciate everything i have now and everything i had in the past. I learnt from my mistakes in the past, when i took things for granted. Believe me, I wasn't this way a few years back.. I used to be stubborn and wanted everything to go my way. Til' one day, my parents lost trust on me. Everything i do was wrong for them. Even when my intention was good, it was never good enough for them. I know each day, they'd been hoping i would change even when it seems like they gave up on me. I fell severely ill one day and they took care of me, very well. They gave me the attention i needed. They didn't complain, i guess that's the unconditional love parents have.. Even when the child had made so much mistakes... Then, i realized i gotta change. Life wasn't easy for me and my family. I wasn't born wealthy. I don't get whatever i want. In fact, i don't get anything i want, if it wasn't necessary. I went through hardship, from small. Of course I get a little jealous seeing all the other teens getting new electronic gadgets, new phones.. Of course i get jealous seeing them buying new clothes, new shoes, new accesories.. Of course I get jealous seeing my friends going overseas, holidays with their family members. Of course i wanna have a life like them. But, i know my family isn't rich, i don't mind not getting any of these. I just wish, one fine day, i will have a good career, and i can take my family out on a holiday. That will be very nice. InsyaAllah. I love my mum and dad very much, i'll show them that nothing is impossible. I'll make things work. I'll make them proud of me. Xx